HalBpaperReview - Revision history

Oborn: Protected "HalBpaperReview" ([edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [move=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [read=autoconfirmed] (indefinite))

2010-12-31T02:12:21Z

Protected "HalBpaperReview" ([edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [move=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [read=autoconfirmed] (indefinite))

2010-12-23T21:14:08Z

Forest's 2nd round suggestions

2010-12-23T21:04:31Z

Forest's 2nd round suggestions

2010-12-23T20:51:05Z

Forest's 2nd round suggestions

2010-12-23T20:29:51Z

Forest's 2nd round suggestions

2010-12-23T20:18:27Z

Forest's 2nd round suggestions

2010-12-23T20:01:23Z

Forest's suggestions

2010-10-24T17:31:06Z

Forest's suggestions

2010-10-24T17:04:37Z

Forest's suggestions

2010-10-24T16:49:03Z

Forest's suggestions

@@ Line 1,562: / Line 1,562: @@
 >>    Paragraph 4.
 >>      Line 4. : P^b_gamma and P^b_gamma?
+>>    Paragraph 6.
+>>      Line 6. : Adding systematic errors is quadrature requires showing that they are uncorrelated.

@@ Line 1,555: / Line 1,555: @@
 >>      Line 13. double quote missing on "recovered"
 >> Page 9.
->>  Fig. 12 caption. I have no idea what you mean by "lower hyperon
+>  Right Column.
 >>    Paragraph 3.
->>      Line 2. Use "... $\Lambda$ momentum, was varied ...".
+>>      Line 5.  suggest changing ", the ratio of ..." to ", the A gamma to A pi decay ratio used as an input parameter for the Monte Carlo simulation"
->>      Line 4. Use "... corresponding to cuts in the range from 3~cm
 >>    Paragraph 4.
->>      Line 2. This needs some attention. I suggest "... was varied.
+>>      Line 4. : P^b_gamma and P^b_gamma?
->>        A series of cuts were used in the region with $\pm$20\% of the
->>        nominal cut to study the effect on ...".
 >> Page 10.
 >>  Table IV. The use of the terms "Low Range" and "High Range" is

@@ Line 1,543: / Line 1,543: @@
     last sentence: change to "... was removed by requiring Pxy > 0.3 GeV as illustrated by the dashed line.:
 >> Page 6.
 >>  Left Column.
 >>    Paragraph 1.
->>      Line 5. Use "For a kinematic fit to a missing $\gamma$ with ...".
+>>      Line 4. Use "P0 is for normalization".
->>    Paragraph 2.
+        line 10: Suggest changing " an indicator of ...." to " an indicator of the signal to background kinematic fit contribution with the radiative..."
->>      Line 5. Use "... majority of events.".
 >>  Right Column.
 >>    Paragraph 2.
->>      Line 3. Use "... mixed ratios on the order of ...".
+>>      Line 13. double quote missing on "recovered"
->>      Line 4. Use "... 1\%), a Monte Carlo (MC) simulationi of the data
 >> Page 7.
 >>  Right Column.
 >>    Paragraph 1.

@@ Line 1,468: / Line 1,468: @@
 .) remove qualitative measures or replace them with quantitative ones.  examples are: "agreed very well", " helps greatly", "great deal of confidence".  These should not appear in a scientific manuscript.
 .) check units everywhere.  The unit for mass is GeV/c^2.  My theorist wife jokes about how experimentalists don't know this.  let's start disappointing her
+.) make font sizes in figures similar to font size of figure caption.
 >> Page 1.

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:18, 23 December 2010
Line 1,494:		Line 1,494:

	Line 13: change "used" to "use"		Line 13: change "used" to "use"
		+	last sentence: "great deal of confidence" either quantify or remove this subjective statement. Scientific writing should be objective.

	>> Paragraph 2.		>> Paragraph 2.

@@ Line 1,452: / Line 1,452: @@
        Line 6: the last half of this sentence should be clarified.  You extrapolated the number of K* events to the nominal \sigma mass cut?
-;I stopped here
+    Paragraph 4.
 Page 9.
-  - Put refs in order cited. It looks like [10],[11],[12] need checking.
-  - [11]. Isn't the second part of this ref. an errata?
+     Paragraph 2:
-  - [17]. Use "... Soyeur, Phys. ...".
+        Line 2: use "allows"
-  - [20]. Use "... Scoccola, and ...".
+        Line 4: remove "for"

@@ Line 1,432: / Line 1,432: @@
      Paragraph 1.
        Line 6. use "... lower case n represents an"
-     Line 10: remove "the" before parentheses
+      Line 10: remove "the" before parentheses
- ;I stopped here
+Page 8.
+   Left Column.
      Paragraph 1.
-       Add comma after Eq.(12).
+       Line 3 after Eq.(13).  I disagree with Dan on the comment Use "... 1/3, is the decay ...".
      Paragraph 2.
-       Line 7. Give the Lam(1405) branching ratio here.
+       Line 2. change "from matching" to "by matching"
-    Paragraph 3.
+       Line 6: the last half of this sentence should be clarified.  You extrapolated the number of K* events to the nominal \sigma mass cut?
-      Line 1. Use "... to find $n_\Lambda$, one can look ...".
-    Paragraph 4.
+;I stopped here
      Results section.
        Section heading. Use "RESULTS" for consistency with other labels.

@@ Line 1,414: / Line 1,414: @@
 Page 6.
    Left Column.
      Paragraph 1.
@@ Line 1,426: / Line 1,428: @@
        Line 3 : Should you refer the reader to the separation seen in Fig 9 C and remove the statement "well enough" allowing the reader make the subjective evaluation.  Perhaps just move this 1 sentence paragraph to the right column paragraph 2.
   ;I stopped here
        Line 9 after Eq.(8). Use "... fact that the background underneath ...".
        Line 14 after Eq.(8). Use "... A_\gamma^\Sigma)$, so that ...".